I feel more grown up and like I'm more prepared to take care of MYSELF.
I have finals tomorrow morning and it's going to suck. I'm already done with my religion class but English and history are tomorrow.. and English I have to rewrite my fifth essay because she knows I did it half-assed and says that I can do better so she's giving me until the end of June.
I leave for New Jersey this coming Friday. I was thinking of not going because he's being an asshole and acting like he doesn't know me (ex.: never calls or texts or answers my calls or texts) and it's getting on my fucking nerves.. but that's a lot of money to just shove up his ass so I figured why not? If I end up arguing with him, at least I can make good out of the trip and go shopping, right?
But that's me being pessimistic. There's a chance we might get along but after tonight's phone call, I'm not sure if that will happen. He bought me ring.. when I told him not to. We're not engaged anymore because I don't feel that he's fit for being a husband. Not for me, at least. Or maybe it's just me that's not ready? Who knows... all I know is that he bought a very expensive ring and I don't know what I'm going to do when he gets down on his knee with it. -sigh-
I dyed my hair bright red again.. I was missing how I used to dress. I feel like I'm missing a part of myself and I was wondering why. Then.. I realized that I've been dressing and thinking a certain way because I thought it was good for me and to be honest with you, it helped a lot to make me grow up, but the thing is that I need to be ME. Loud, obnoxious, bright ME. I've learned I can be responsible and be my own person at the same time. It just took me a little to realize that.
Anyway.. I'm blabbing. I'm going to rest before I have to head out to my first final exam at 7:45 in the morning. G'night, peeeeeople.